Post by Inuzuka Delliah on Mar 29, 2008 12:27:41 GMT -5
Well, you all might have heard what happened. I got in trouble again but this time I REALLY screwed up. At 2:00 in them morning on friday... my parent's finally caught me smoking in my bedroom. *sighs and shakes her own head* I'm just as dissapointed in myself as you all might be with me. I don't know what I was thinking, it was like I wasn't myself at all and I haven't been true to myself. I let the stresses of my own life, and my friend's in real get in the way of truelly what I wanted. You see I walked around acting like someone I wasn't.
Like I was being snobbish, and more assertive, even agreesive towards everyone, I even got to the point where I was causing my friend's to ignore me and hate me, at least some of them. When every knows me as a simple, VERY loyal friend, one to only fight in certain situations, a loving person, a lover not a fighter, a bit overconfident but still the kind of girl you all on here know me as.
I'm trying to get on speaking terms with my family, and I've learned a great deal on my mistakes. Even at home I was so mean to my family, and they thought I hated them. I was only afraid for them to love me for the person I was becoming, I didn't want them to be as hurt as I felt. I felt like everything was turning upside down for me. It only worked out opposite, not only did I hurt myself I hurt the ones I loved most. I've finally got help and well. On thrusday, I have spoken with my counsler and she's going to work with me and oddly when I talk things out I'm happy. Like I've got no pressures. So whatever punishment I may recieve it'll happen soon.
Not sure when I'll be back or even I'll get to stay on or what but whatever happens, happens. So, I'm trusting in myself and god to help me get over this. So far I'm happy, and I may shed a bunch of tears, but I have you guys hopefully for support. Especially Adam.. *tears up* Your the biggest impact on my life Adam... and I love you more than I could ever let you know. I'm glad your trying to help me, and I'm very sorry that I seem so... hard to handle sometimes. I love you with all my heart, body and soul and I wish I could show you, but until the day we meet, I'll keep it to myself. As for everyone else... may god bless you all.
~*KayKay-chan*♥
Like I was being snobbish, and more assertive, even agreesive towards everyone, I even got to the point where I was causing my friend's to ignore me and hate me, at least some of them. When every knows me as a simple, VERY loyal friend, one to only fight in certain situations, a loving person, a lover not a fighter, a bit overconfident but still the kind of girl you all on here know me as.
I'm trying to get on speaking terms with my family, and I've learned a great deal on my mistakes. Even at home I was so mean to my family, and they thought I hated them. I was only afraid for them to love me for the person I was becoming, I didn't want them to be as hurt as I felt. I felt like everything was turning upside down for me. It only worked out opposite, not only did I hurt myself I hurt the ones I loved most. I've finally got help and well. On thrusday, I have spoken with my counsler and she's going to work with me and oddly when I talk things out I'm happy. Like I've got no pressures. So whatever punishment I may recieve it'll happen soon.
Not sure when I'll be back or even I'll get to stay on or what but whatever happens, happens. So, I'm trusting in myself and god to help me get over this. So far I'm happy, and I may shed a bunch of tears, but I have you guys hopefully for support. Especially Adam.. *tears up* Your the biggest impact on my life Adam... and I love you more than I could ever let you know. I'm glad your trying to help me, and I'm very sorry that I seem so... hard to handle sometimes. I love you with all my heart, body and soul and I wish I could show you, but until the day we meet, I'll keep it to myself. As for everyone else... may god bless you all.
~*KayKay-chan*♥
